I’m seated in heavenly places.
Chair on earth, still visible in heavenly spaces.
But it’s broken in awkward places.
Making my feet unstable in what it chases.
Okay, enough of the rhymes and poetics
Let’s get down to real business.
I’m drawn to melodies
So assume my chair is painted with music.
Art.
The whole stagecraft.
I’m talking about power in riffs and runs..
The Spirit moving and people getting goosebumps.
“It’s all Grace, none of me”, we say.
Except, the reaction to the voice inflections and rhyme
We know,
Deep down..
There’s immense power when we pick up the mic.
We see somehow the flow of power from the mic to the crowd,
Breaking chains, changing lives.
And up the ladder of fame we climb
Gig after gig,
Move after move
Slowly. Subtly..sucking a part of me
Integrity.
I see it fly off with late-night
ungodly texts from the choir director
calling it innocent banter. Compromise.
I see it escape in the pride I wear
when the fans slide in the DM
talking about “You blessed Me”. Compromise.
I see it disappear in the withering of private fellowship
for corporate setting. ..for
“The anointing is for people to see”. Compromise.
I’m losing integrity.
And how sad it is,… I can’t see..
That it’s not what God intended
for me in this ministry.
To be exuberantly blessing
yet struggling within.
Proclaiming Jesus is King
yet having no personal testimony.
Trying to catch fame
yet losing grip on my salvation.
Compromising,
Gathering earthly accolades. No heavenly accreditation.
Integrity is in the secret place.
Not so much about what we do
when people are watching or not.
For whether open or secret,
they can only see as far as my actions..
They don’t have the key to view my heart.
That’s where I really am
I am in my heart.
The imaginations and schemes going on with every beat
That’s who I am.
Integrity is in the secret place
Where I decide to stick with God
in this life race.
Bearing all of me out in vulnerability
My heart bit by bit..
Knowing God is capable of handling its eclectic ways
Integrity is in the secret place
Where I decide to go through the cleaning everyday
Showing God all my junk and letting Him peel me.
It’s not Christianity if a part of you is not bleeding.
This is constant flesh surgery.
Let’s strive for integrity
The kind applauded by The Spirit within.
Because,.. well…
Power that transforms others but not me
Is that one too Power???
~
sheyla